dear stranger

Several times a week i spend time at a quiet little coffee shop by myself, reading a book and sipping frappe. I've been doing this for quite some time now. contented in just being alone, submerging myself in a world of make believe, trying to ignore that small voice inside me crying softly " i need something.. "

Then one day you came in, looked around and took a seat at a table beside mine. sitting at a chair which is directly in front of me, you are staring at the door with that anxious look in your eyes as if saying " please come after me, I'll be here waiting...".

Just seeing that in your eyes made me realize that i too am waiting. Waiting for that something that could fill me. Suddenly I felt hallow, I tried to concentrate on the book I'm reading tried to immerse myself once more in that world of make believe, I tried to divert my attention from you. But the feeling just won't go away, no matter what i do i cant forget that look in your eyes, that longing for something or somebody.

I began to panic, my walls are crumbling. I don't even know you but im beginning to hate you, you stirred something in me that has been locked way deep inside.

I started to squirm in my seat, finding a good position that would eliminate you in my direct line of sight. I won't allow someone like you to shatter my solitude, my srene content moment.

I used to feel secure, contented somehow, happy...
But now i realize that i was just playing the act. Well I'm a good actress then because i even fooled myself. for so long I have made myself believe, led my self to think that my life is perfect... Till you came along.

Maybe all our lives are based on carefully built walls, we believe that we are happy and content, that we are complete. Everyday we face life without even noticing that we are alone, seeing lovers kiss, holding hands, hug and not even feel a hint of jealousy... Or do we really?

In the blink of an eye the bubble bursts, we notice, we feel. Our lives change, our carefully built walls crack and finally crumble.

After savoring the feeling of feeling again we begin to wonder what caused us to wake up, to emerge from that slumber of being numb. We realize that what started it all was just something so small that when witnessed by others would seem worthless.

We begin to understand that to feel, to hurt, to wait, to long for someone or something is not being stupid but being brave enough to live. For because of these feelings we know...
that we are human.