she was walking along the beach, thinking of the past.
quietly reminiscing what had been...
thinking about so many things yet longing only for that one moment to be given to her again. to be given the chance to go back in time and take it all back.

she sat down on the sand hugging her knees and placing her head bowed between them.
she wants to shield her face from the sea, she doesn't want her to see that she's hurt. she's covering her face from the sand, she does not want them to witness her moment of weakness. she's trying to be strong, to tell the world she can make it, to prove to them that they cannot break her.

she tried to hold it in, to stop he tears.
she wanted to keep it all to herself, wanted nobody else to share her hurt.
she cried silently, she couldn't hold it any more.

she took a small stone and with all her might threw it across the water and with all her might wished that, like that stone she could just throw away all her pain.

she sat there not minding time,
she sat there not thinking what will happen next.
she just sat there.
waiting..
and she waited....
for that one thing to wake her up,
for that something to save her...

i loved you once

i loved you once,
how i wanted to tell you that...
how i wanted to look into your eyes and smugly say:
i loved you once.

funny, no matter how i try i just can't seem to do it.
i don't know how to start
and even if i do say it,
am afraid i'd say it in a wrong way.....

i loved you once
i told myself
i loved you once
i made myself believe
i loved you once
do you believe me?
i loved you once
i lied...

wish

When i look at you i wanna know what goes on behind that smile, what lays behind those dark beautiful eyes.
There is a place within you that you keep from everyone, can I see it? There is something you keep from everybody else, would you care to share 'em with me?
I wanna know what you think about, what you dream about, what you wish for.
Sounds pretty simple but i know that it would be a lifetime before i get my answers to those questions.
In life I learned that there are things that are just bound to be out of each.
When you say that there are things you want so badly that you think is unreachable you are not alone.
You dream of so many things that you would want to happen in your life and that you think you won't be given the chance to have them but don't you see that i too am dreaming, am wishing for things that is next to impossible.
So many wishes, prayers and dreams that i wanted to come true but like you, I'm in a place where all i can do is wait and hope.

dear stranger

Several times a week i spend time at a quiet little coffee shop by myself, reading a book and sipping frappe. I've been doing this for quite some time now. contented in just being alone, submerging myself in a world of make believe, trying to ignore that small voice inside me crying softly " i need something.. "

Then one day you came in, looked around and took a seat at a table beside mine. sitting at a chair which is directly in front of me, you are staring at the door with that anxious look in your eyes as if saying " please come after me, I'll be here waiting...".

Just seeing that in your eyes made me realize that i too am waiting. Waiting for that something that could fill me. Suddenly I felt hallow, I tried to concentrate on the book I'm reading tried to immerse myself once more in that world of make believe, I tried to divert my attention from you. But the feeling just won't go away, no matter what i do i cant forget that look in your eyes, that longing for something or somebody.

I began to panic, my walls are crumbling. I don't even know you but im beginning to hate you, you stirred something in me that has been locked way deep inside.

I started to squirm in my seat, finding a good position that would eliminate you in my direct line of sight. I won't allow someone like you to shatter my solitude, my srene content moment.

I used to feel secure, contented somehow, happy...
But now i realize that i was just playing the act. Well I'm a good actress then because i even fooled myself. for so long I have made myself believe, led my self to think that my life is perfect... Till you came along.

Maybe all our lives are based on carefully built walls, we believe that we are happy and content, that we are complete. Everyday we face life without even noticing that we are alone, seeing lovers kiss, holding hands, hug and not even feel a hint of jealousy... Or do we really?

In the blink of an eye the bubble bursts, we notice, we feel. Our lives change, our carefully built walls crack and finally crumble.

After savoring the feeling of feeling again we begin to wonder what caused us to wake up, to emerge from that slumber of being numb. We realize that what started it all was just something so small that when witnessed by others would seem worthless.

We begin to understand that to feel, to hurt, to wait, to long for someone or something is not being stupid but being brave enough to live. For because of these feelings we know...
that we are human.