…Do You Remember?

Thinking back, can you remember one event that has claimed a great part in your memory? It may be happy or it may be painful, are you thinking about it now? Do still feel that rush of emotions like you did back then? Do you remember the weather, the clothes you wore? I do, now let me tell you…

It was the thirteenth of February, a little past one that after noon. I was wearing a black top and a pair of jeans that day. Quite comfortable though I am wondering why that color, why black since it was sunny that day. As I came in the restaurant you stood up to greet me. That crooked smile really has become a treat lately. It was so nice to see that smile again and again and again…

Sitting there I was wondering what that important thing you wanted to tell me was. I was so nervous that I was quiet, you did not even notice as you blabbered around; talking about your past, your friends, your experiences, even your hopes. You told me about your brothers, what you had gone through and how close you were. Problems you had and even the smallest things you think about. We finished our orders with you talking all the while and I was just listening, a silent witness to this moment, giving a nod, a polite response once in a while. Do you remember?

We were long done with the food but you still hadn’t told me about that thing that you said you wanted to tell me. I was afraid of bringing it up, afraid of sounding too eager. So I waited for you to bring it up. Then you asked where I wanted to go, the beach, somewhere quiet. I couldn’t think of anything so I left the decision to you, waited for you to make up your mind. Then suddenly you had a wonderful idea you said and led me out to go someplace; secret.

It was not that big a surprise since I realized that you were taking me to the park, I was in fact disappointed. As I was heading towards the entrance of the park you pulled me back, said it was not the place to go. That aroused my curiosity, so I followed your lead and we ended at the front door of an old church. I looked at you with puzzled eyes and you just smiled, it’s quieter inside you said. I smiled at that though what I would have wanted was to go up to the bell free.

We went inside and it was so quiet, it was still a long time before the next mass so we sat at the last bench on the left wing of the church. And just like what happened earlier that day you began to talk about anything and everything.

Then all of a sudden there was silence, you were thinking, I could even hear you breath. Abruptly you asked: “Do you want me to tell you now? That thing I wanted to tell you…”. I nodded, sure. And secretly sighed, at last you’re getting to the good part.

Before I get to that thing I want to tell you what I was thinking, what I thought you would have said; something about the previous night, something about liking me. The fact that just the night before we talked about us and openly admitted that we like each other but you have to tell me something first. I was nervous and I couldn’t even look at you. In short I thought you were going to tell me more about the fact that you like me. But I was dead wrong, or maybe I hoped too much. Just to help, if you have lately acquired amnesia or selective amnesia at that let me remind you of what happened next.

I can still remember how quiet it was at that time, maybe two or three seconds of total silence. You then took a deep breath, and said;”There’s this girl..”. My heart beat literally stopped, I felt a cold hand grip my heart. I blinked once, twice, tried to absorb what you were saying for you were speaking again. I glanced at you; you were looking ahead and going on with your tale. I looked on and tried to make out what I was feeling at the moment and came up with only one answer; I was numb. Couldn’t feel anything, I was thinking I should slap you but I couldn’t get myself to do it. Instead I just smiled and listened as you told me about her. Absorbing everything till I realized they were about to start a mass and that we have to leave.

As we stood I couldn’t feel my feet. I just walked, and then I saw the museum, a chance to pour my attention to something else, to not think about what just happened. We stayed there for a while and I was acting as if nothing has caused my nerves this stress and then went on our way home.

That was an event in my life that has been printed in my memory and I will forever remember for in that night I felt my heart literally breaking into pieces. You may wonder why I’d even bother telling you this; I just want you to know that, thanks to you I learned, the hard way.